The misfortunes and weird costumes of Coquito, the bilingual boy

Coquito and his Uncle Ernest are at the British Center of Culture and Stuff, located near the world famous Ramos Mejía train station.

- Hello pupils and welcome to your first english lesson. My name is Miss Gladys, and I will be teaching you the wonders of knowing how to speak this fabulous language for the next three months. Now, tell me... what’s your name, young lad?
- Coquito.
- Nice to meet you, Coquito. Now, Coco, can you tell me what colour is this ball?
- The ball is red.
- Great answer, laddie. And you sir, what’s your name?
- Tío Ernesto. Mai feivourit color is naranj.
- No, no. You mean orange.
- Nou, zenk iu, ai dont laic fud.
- Mmhhh ok. And what colour is the sun?
- Ielou.
- Ye-llow…
- Ié-louuu…
- Mmhh ok. And how old are you?
- Ai am zirty nain iers ould.
- Nice. I don't see a wedding ring. Just kidding. Moving on... now, tell me Coco, what’s your favourite sport?
- I don’t like sports. I think they represent the worse side of the competitive human soul. The dark side.
- I guess you like Star Wars better, don't ya?
- I'd kill to be Han Solo.
- Who wouldn´t? And you, Uncle Ernest?
- Ai laiq fulbo. Uen ai uos a litel boi, ai uos rilli gud at it.
- This is making me uncomfortable. Anyways, Coco... what would you do if you were President for a day?
- I would pass a law that establishes that is perfectly legal to steal panties from girls private closets.
- That's disturbing. Do you have anything to add to that, Uncle Ernest?
- Ies. Ai don’t nou uot de fac ai am duin jier.